I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
