you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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