gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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