4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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