Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
