I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
