he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
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Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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