i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
