You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
