I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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