i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
