Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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