White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
