Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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