The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize