Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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