Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
