Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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