its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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