I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
