I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
