After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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