did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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