I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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