She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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