hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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