Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You ate ashes out of my bong
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
