You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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