This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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