So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
