Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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