Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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