My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Life is so much better after having sex.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
