he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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