i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
