So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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