hell yes lets make some ravioli
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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