Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
