Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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