im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
babies were throwing up all over the place
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
