the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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