we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
