I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize