He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
