I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
