Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
