Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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