I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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