I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
