dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
ok first of all what the fuck
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
