I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
