69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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