Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
