I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
