He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
