so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
