I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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