We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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