i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
