where am i from again
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
