I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
