oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
zippers are such a cool invention
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
we're so committed to being not committed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
