Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
